If only words could heal.
If only time could stop.
If only I could stop bleeding.
If only I could keep you safe.
If only my words wouldn’t hurt.
If only time wouldn’t slip between my fingers.
If only I could cry.
If only I could destroy you.
The ambivalence you create inside me is what keeps me alive, yet, it’s what destroys me. It’s like the love I have for you and my hate for everything that you’re not.
If only you could be.
If only you wouldn’t.
You are the only that makes me laugh while crying and hurts me with embraces. There’s nobody else that could love me in black and hate me in white, the way you do. My world turns around you, your world stops around me.
If only you would be all that I’m not.
If only I could be all you are.
Here and there, you and me. Now and then, me and you. The only place where we can be is in between. Between day and night, between liquid and solid, between winter and spring, between silence and the first sound that could leave your lips.
If only you could be on this side of the miror.
If only I would pass through.
Invisbile as long as I exist. A trace in the warm red wax that seals my fate. Here, but not quite. Mine, but not really. Now, but already then.