Am de lucru. Sau ar trebui sa am. In schimb, ma preocupa gandurile mele si incerc, nu sa invoc trecutul, punandu-l pe hartie, cat incerc sa il scriu si sa il las acolo unde e. Uneori iese.
You hated my hair, one way or another.
She now has what you want.
You hated my voice. I loved hearing yours.
Her childish whimper seems to please you.
You hated my clothes, nothing seemed good enough for you.
Inadequate as they may be, she has the right thing for your greedy eyes.
You hated my looks, I came to understand.
The greed in everybody else’s eyes must excite you so.
You hated my guts. I dared to criticize, to complain, to dislike loudly.
And you hated I had an opinion I could voice.
Your own lack of guts gets along so well with hers,
you’re both a sham.
You hated my fears, my inferiority complex, my nightmares, the threats I took for granted, my regrets.
Shallow, isn’t she?
Now you love to serve and protect,
and not throw in the trash the trembling one.
You hated my sincerity.
It’s better to say „black” when you think „white”,
to stab in the back when no one is looking,
to hit when the other one’s down,
to lie and deceive.
You ought to be pleased now. Façade.
You’ve made the worst of me, you’re tearing me apart.
Toying with your power, you want me weak,
you’re shaming me.
I feel guilty and distressed.
You got what you wanted, staying in shadows all along.
I had no patience, you said.
Look at it now, all that I took in, all these years.
Won’t you miss me,
miss all I knew (think of the Klan)
miss all I did (it would please you once)
miss all I was and you kicked away
miss all you loved about me?
Who are you, stranger? Slipping away from my sheets.
Who are you in the shadows? Bravely trying to put me down.
Who are you, son of man?
Who, what were you?
I know you no more, I fear you no longer.
Play me, oh, play me.
Cut my wings and watch me crawl.
Burn my feathers and let me fall.
Push me down to the ground,
step on me, squeeze me tight,
make the soil embrace me.
Take my air and ask me to laugh.
Cut my strings and make me walk.
Hit me hard,
fly me into oblivion,
mix up north and south for me.
Pull my veins and braid them nicely,
ask me if I lost my cold blood.
Pin me up on your wall,
like a prize you’d love to have,
forget me there, never dust me.
Drop me dead, check my pulse.
Hit me, am I still moving?
Lay me down,
I’ll be your first victim.
Silence me down and move to the next one.